Your 2020 Wedding Ceremony You’re going to need an officiant to marry you and I’d like to be that person for you and your fiance! Learn why you’ll want to hire an award-winning 5-star rated professional who’ll provide you with … Continue reading
Tag Archives: ceremony
Book Excerpt – Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony
Chapter 2 — First Things First
There are certain basic questions you must ask yourself first to begin any of your detailed planning. These include:
When do we plan to have the ceremony?
What is the size of our budget?
Where would we like to have the ceremony?
How many guests would we like to invite?
These questions interact with each other so you may have to go through several iterations to come up with a basic plan that is realistic and realizable. Let’s look at each question first and then discuss deriving the plan.
When
There are several factors to consider here. Depending on where you live, the weather could be a big factor. Winter weddings happen, of course, but Spring, Summer, and Fall are usually much friendlier weather-wise unless you live or plan to marry in a warm climate.
Peak wedding season in most temperate climates typically runs from late April through late September, peaking in July and August, while July and August are not such good choices where it’s very hot and humid.
Saturdays are the most popular days for weddings. Sundays are next with Friday’s bringing up the rear. Weekday weddings are less common but can be done depending on where you are having the ceremony and from where the wedding party and guests are located or will be coming.
Your “when” decision can also have a big interaction with your budget. Non-peak season venue and vendor rates are often lower than peak season rates and weekday rates may often be lower than weekend days. Vendor and venue availability may also come into play here since many are booked six to eighteen months – or more – in advance!
Budget
Your budget is, of course, one – if not the biggest – constraint on your overall wedding plans. If your budget is unlimited, you can choose any when, where, and guest list size that you’d like. If your budget is less grandiose, which is the case for most couples, you’ll need to factor it into each decision you make. And if it is very limited, so will your choices be limited.
From where will the money come? If you and your spouse-to-be are paying for everything yourselves, how much do you have saved for the occasion? Or how long will it take for you to save enough to pay for your desired wedding day details? The amount of money you have available can also impact your “when” decision.
If your parents are going to help out, or completely pay for everything, how much money will they be providing? Alternatively, how deeply into debt are you willing to go to finance the kind of wedding you’d like to have? And how will that impact your plans for a honeymoon or starting your marriage being cash-strapped as you pay off the credit cards?
Once you have a handle on your total available budget, it’s best to start a spreadsheet or use a wedding budget planning application on one of the many wedding related websites like Wedding Wire and The Knot so that you can keep track of your planned expenditures for each vendor you’ll need to hire. And be aware that most couples exceed their original budget by about fifty percent!
Your budget will constrain your “where” and “how many guests” decisions. Commercial wedding venues are expensive to the tune of several thousands of dollars. Food and beverage catering is often the next largest expense, and it is directly driven by not only your menu but also by your guest list headcount. Then there’s photography and perhaps videography, ceremony and reception musicians or DJs, flowers, hair and makeup, and, of course, the dress!
The preceding items are, again, only a partial list of possible expenses and I’d recommend using a spreadsheet, application, or checklist available on wedding websites or message boards like Pinterest to plan and track your specific numbers.
Where
Depending on your desired wedding date and your available budget, your next decision is likely to be where to have your wedding. The choices here are endless!
I’ve done weddings with just the couple and the two witnesses in apartments, homes, community rooms, and even hospitals that were lovely ceremonies. I’ve done them in backyards, public parks, and at beaches and forest and waterfall venues. I’ve done them at small and large chapels, large churches, many large and small commercial venues, and grand hotels with three hundred guests. The possibilities are endless!
You could, for example, have a small (5-10) to medium (10-25) sized “garden” elopement or wedding ceremony in your back yard with the reception to follow either outside or inside. You could have friends and family bring the food and drink, hire or recruit someone to DJ the music with a playlist you’ve put together, and hire or recruit a photographer. Very inexpensive, no venue scheduling issues but still very nice.
You could add some frills to a wedding like this with, say, a violinist and a pianist to provide the ceremony music. Or you could rent, buy, or construct an arch placed behind where you are standing for the ceremony.
You can even rent dance floors if you want to do the reception outside and hire a professional DJ host to keep things going. It’s your day and how you create it is really up to you!
If you decide to have your wedding in a park, forest, or beach setting, you may need to arrange for a permit, especially if you are bringing an arch, chairs, and other items. Some parks have covered areas and food preparation facilities. Some may or may not allow alcohol or may have noise restrictions that might limit your music choices. Don’t be afraid to ask! Much better to plan around restrictions than to find out on your wedding day that you can’t implement some or all of them!
If money is no object, you could rent an exclusive venue, a winery, or a hotel banquet facility. If you hire a professional wedding planner, you can delegate the majority of the planning and preparation work, including dealing with the multiple vendors and meet with he or her regularly to make sure that everything is on track and that nothing falls in a crack.
Between these two extremes are a myriad of other options that could fit your needs, wants, and desires and be within your budget. I’ve done very elegant “backyard” wedding at couples’ parents’ estates, at college campuses where tents and music, catering, etc., are all brought in for the ceremony and reception. Very elegant, but not inexpensive! You’ll want your venue selection to fit with your guest count and your budget, so here is another interaction to consider early on in the initial wedding planning stages.
How Many
Choosing who to invite to your wedding and reception is perhaps the most difficult set of decisions you’ll have to make as a couple when planning your wedding. Decisions that are fraught with emotional connotations, potential family conflicts, and friend and colleague hurt feelings.
One key thing to consider when putting the guest list together is that the cost of food and beverage catering goes up or down directly with the addition or subtraction of each guest. You’ll also want to consider whether you want your guests to bring a “+1” – spouse, partner, or friend – and what to do about your desire to have children present or not.
These are not easy decisions. There are a lot of advice and tips on many wedding websites, and there are flowcharts on bulletin board sites like Pinterest that can help you in your decision-making process. You’ll ultimately need to decide how many and who you will invite from:
Your immediate and extended family
Your spouse-to-be’s immediate and extended family
Your friends
Your spouse-to-be’s friends
Your Coworkers
Your spouse-to-be’s coworkers
Anyone else
You’ll also want to take into account those you might want to invite but who you also know will not attend due to location, health, or finances. These people will likely appreciate being informed of the upcoming wedding but know that you know that they won’t be physically present.
The size of your guest list will also impact the selection of your venue, so you might want to start with the guest list first and then see which venues might work for you in terms of capacity and cost.
Hopefully, by now, you have a good understanding of how important these early planning factors are and how completely interactive and interdependent they can be.
Also, don’t forget to include yourselves and the wedding party – bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers – and maybe their +1s or parents – in your guest list headcount!
Concerning the bridal party, there are traditions regarding the makeup and order of entry into the formal ceremony area, and we’ll cover those details in the following chapter. In that chapter, I’ll be using the words bride and groom to differentiate among the various people for convenience. The diagram works just as well for same-sex marriages.
Order the whole book at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P26QMZ5?
Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony
Are you ready to plan your Wedding Ceremony? When I meet with couples to discuss officiating their ceremony, we often talk about a lot more than just the ceremony script and the vows that they’ll be sharing. We cover who … Continue reading
Your Wedding Ceremony Questions Answered in Videos
Congratulations on Your Engagement! In hundreds of meetings with couples that I’ve had the privilege of marrying over the past years some of the same questions pop up over and over again. I thought, therefore, that I’d address many of these questions in this series … Continue reading
When You Want Your Relative to “Officiate” Your Wedding
“Do you, Bubba, take Ellie Mae to be your wafflely wedded life…” Both Wedding Wire and The Knot have recently published survey results that show an increased interest by couples, and particularly by DIY wedding couples, to avoid paying an … Continue reading
2019 Wedding Season Will be Here Before You Know It!
Book before the end of 2018 to get 2018 prices for your 2019 wedding officiant needs!
Due to increased costs, I’m raising my fees for my wedding officiant services, which haven’t changed since early 2017, effective the first of 2019. But if you get engaged and book your wedding before the end of 2018, I’ll honor the 2018 prices for your 2019 wedding. Check Jon’s Booking Calendar on the homepage to see if your date is available. Even if you see a red (booked) or yellow (reserved) color on your date, please give me a call at 503-877-4609 or an email because I may still be able to accommodate your needs. I can often do two weddings in a day if they are spaced far enough apart time-wise and not too far apart location-wise.
Here’s a short video summary and here’s a longer video for you to watch. Or just click below.
I’d Love to Marry You in 2018!
You choose the venue that suits you and your fiance the best. Then you book me to develop the script and vows that suit you two the best. Then I marry you with a ceremony that meets all of your needs, wants, and desires. What more could you ask for to make your wedding day as perfect as possible? Check Jon’s Booking Calendar or give me a call at 503-877-4609 to check my availability for your desired date and venue.
And Now, It’s Time To Wed. HELP!
Congratulations on your engagement!
Are you scared yet? Let me ease your fears.
Planning your wedding is a daunting task. No question about it and I don’t intend to trivialize your trepidations.
Guest list first. Your one most controllable expense factor. Wedding date. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall? Fees for almost everything are typically higher during the peak season — May through September in the Portland/Vancouver region. And Saturdays always get booked first by venues and vendors of all types.
So now to go to work on a venue. Indoors or out? Or outdoors with an indoor backup? Important! Catering might be next — supplied by the venue as part of a package or do you want to bring in your own food (or have an independent caterer take care of that)? What about the cake (or cupcakes or other dessert options)? What about bartending needs if you plan to offer adult beverages at the reception?
Music? For the ceremony and the reception? A DJ, a live musician or group, or a playlist on your smartphone? Can your venue handle your choice?
Oh! And, by the way, you’ll need a professional officiant to perform your actual wedding ceremony! Leaving that detail to the last minute could leave you in the lurch! And that’s where I come in.
I’d love to marry you and your fiance. Let’s have an up-front conversation about what your processional will look like. How many bridesmaids and groomsmen? Flower girl(s) and ring bearer? Grandparents, parents, and ushers? Who gives this bride? Religious or non-religious ceremony? Special readings, songs, or remembrances? Special ethnic, cultural, or other ceremony elements (like unity candle, sand, handfasting, rushnicks, or others)? This part can be the least stressful and simplest part of your wedding planning tasks because I take full care of it for you.
I’ll send you a draft script and vows to which we can make any changes that you’d like so that the ceremony meets all of your needs, wants, and desires. So you’ll know exactly what to expect on your wedding day. I’ll “spoon feed” you the vows and the ring exchange words so that you’ll have nothing to memorize or remember. You’ll simply be able to enjoy your ceremony as we share it with your guests!
Check out the reviews and the photos of the 150+ weddings I’ve been privileged to perform over the last few years and give me a call or an email to see if I’m available on your desired date. I normally do only one wedding per day so that I can make sure that you have the best experience possible.
Many couples make the mistake of leaving their officiant selection to the last minute. I urge you not to do that to yourselves! Let’s give you a ceremony that you’ll love!
Happy Wedding Planning
Jon Turino
(503) 877-4609
Are you looking for a Wedding Officiant or Wedding Minister in Portland Oregon? I also perform wedding ceremonies in Vancouver!
Tell me more about your wedding ceremony plans, what you need, what you want, what you desire. It’s YOUR SPECIAL DAY and I can help you customize the perfect wedding ceremony – one you, your family, and friends will remember forever!
“Jon was amazing to work, he knows exactly what to do and just guides you though it all, we hired him in a very short notice situation and he was great!! Thank you, Jon, for an amazing ceremony!! The family and I loved it!” – Trina, WeddingWire Review
“We had a great experience hiring Jon! I initially chose him because he seemed unbiased that our wedding was an elopement. He was very helpful and caring in making sure the verbiage was just right. He responded quickly with all emails, came early, and was very professional. During the ceremony, he spoke loud and clear. He was very genuine in wishing us all the best. I would highly recommend Jon to officiate your special day!” – Lauren, Wedding Wire Review
Call me at (503) 877-4609 or drop me a line using THIS ONLINE FORM.
What a Year It Has Been!
I Love My Clients!
My sincere thanks to all of you couples who provided me with the privilege of officiating at your wedding in 2017!
And special thanks to those of you who made the time and effort to provide those 5-star reviews on so many websites for me. Looks like I’ll pick up Top Pro and Couples Choice awards from at least a couple of sites. And I’m now on a bunch more websites for the 2018 wedding season, including these:
If you haven’t written your reviews yet, I understand. Between honeymoon travel, thank you notes, name change activities, etc., these things can fall into a crack or seem unimportant to you. On the other hand, were the reviews important to you when you selected me to be your officiant? My guess is that your answer is yes, so please help future couples by providing those reviews now. It’s never too late!
I did my first ceremony for Lily and Chong in August of 2015 at the Sentinel Hotel in downtown Portland and I owe a real debt of gratitude to Lily for getting me into my true calling as a wedding officiant. I did a dozen or so weddings in 2015, more than 40 in 2016, and more than 85 in 2017. I’ve loved doing every one of them. And the clients I have served. And 2018 looks like it will be well over the 100+ mark. If you need an officiant I’d love to marry you and your fiance, so please check Jon’s Booking Calendar for your desired date and get your retainer in as soon as you’ve selected your date and venue. I’ll work with you to create a ceremony and vows that meet all of your needs, wants, and desires.
It’s now engagement season. I’ve already booked a half-dozen 2018 weddings from the Thanksgiving holiday and I expect that there’ll be many more through Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and then Valentines Day. Congratulations in advance if you get engaged during these times and I hope you’ll contact me on my website or by phone or email, or via one of the many other sites where I am listed so that I can make your special day as perfect as possible.
In the meantime, I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy and Prosperous New Year in 2018. I look forward to speaking with you and to marrying you! Here are a smattering of photos and review. There are many more on my website.
10 Tips for How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows
(Reposted from BRIDES, Written By Allyson Dickman and Jillian Kramer, Published on July 3, 2017)
How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: 10 Tips
If you’re writing your own vows, you’ve chosen an incredible and meaningful way to personalize your wedding ceremony. It’s a chance to tell your story, give guests a peek into what makes your relationship tick, and to share meaningful, sweet words with the person you love. It can also be a pretty challenging task because it’s so intimate—you are really baring your heart to your fiancé, and you’re doing so in front of your family and friends. If you’re struggling to come up with the right words, read on for ten tips that will help you get through writing your wedding vows.
1. Talk about Your Vows Together
One of the hardest parts about exchanging vows is worrying over how people will compare your words to your fiancé’s. Were hers longer? Did he get more sentimental? Did she make everyone laugh? Did he make everyone cry?
Instead of considering vow writing a competition, get on the same page about your expectations. You don’t have to share what it is you’re going to say, but come to an agreement about the following:
How long will the vows be?
Will you share inside jokes or would you rather keep things more generic?
Do you want to incorporate elements of traditional or [religious vows] into your own?
Consider these starter questions—but don’t hesitate to ask your significant other if you’re stuck on anything else. Once you two have a game plan in mind, writing will be easier.
2. Find a Quiet Place to Reflect on Your Feelings and Write from the Heart
Don’t plan on writing romantic vows while your fiancé is in the other room with the TV blaring or when you have a work deadline on your mind. Find a time when your stress level is low and you can really spend a few quiet minutes thinking about your relationship. To help the ideas start flowing, consider propping pictures of you and your fiancé from throughout the relationship around your writing space as inspiration.
3. Make a List
You don’t have to try to put everything into sentences right away. The first step to writing your vows should be creating a list. Jot down all the things you love about your fiancé, what you’re looking forward to most in your marriage, and what promises you want to make to your future husband or wife. Set the list aside for a day or two, then go back and highlight your favorite items on the list. Use those as the starting point for your vows.
4. Write Up to Three Drafts
Once you’ve made your list, done your research, and written your first draft, walk away. Take a few days—even a week—to give you and your vows some space. After you’ve taken time apart, go back and reread what you wrote. A little separation from your words will do a whole lot of good and allow for you to fix anything with a clear head. If needed, do this one or two more times. But after three times, stop. The bottom line is that you wrote from the heart, and continuously rewriting will drive you crazy! Don’t put that pressure on yourself.
5. Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute
Plan to have your vows written at least three weeks before your wedding. This will give you time to write without the added pressure of the approaching day and also give you time to practice reciting your vows in front of the mirror. Trust us: You’ll be thankful for the rehearsal when those wedding day jitters kick in!
6. Say “I Love You”
This seems like a no-brainer, but Monique Honaman, wedding officiant and author of The High Road Has Less Traffic, says she is often shocked at how many couples leave out this little three-word phrase from their vows. “Isn’t that why people are getting married?” she asks. “Yes, we assume that’s a given that we must love someone if we are willing to stand by them through thick and thin, but it’s always nice to hear and emphasize.”
7. Tell Your Partner You’ll Be There Through Thick and Thin
Almost every vow we’ve ever heard touches on sticking around through sickness and health, through good times and bad times, and for richer or for poorer. They’re sentiments are repeated so often, Honaman says, “We can become immune to what they really mean.” So when you express your intent to stay by your spouse’s side, it’s smart to say what that means to you and how you’ll go about it. “The reality is that all marriages have their cycles of peaks and valleys, not always based on huge dramatic changes in life, but just because life gets busy,” Honaman says. “It’s nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together.”
8. Acknowledge You’ll Need Help and Support of Others
You’ve gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but the truth is, you’ll need them just as much during your marriage. So, Honaman recommends you “use your vows to acknowledge that you need others to help your marriage be successful,” she says. “This may mean acknowledging the role of religion or God in making your marriage work, or the role of family and friends who will help support you when times get tough. I believe it’s helpful to know the two of you aren’t in this alone.”
9. Get Inspired with Books, Songs, Movies, and Poems
If you have a favorite line from a movie or song that expresses your feelings, use it as a starting point. Also, browse through some children’s books, like Maurice Sendak and Ruth Krauss’s I’ll Be You and You’ll Be Me and I Like Youby Sandol Stoddard. Kid’s books often have a way of communicating deep, complex emotions in simple sentences, so they can provide some inspiration.
10. Use Other Vows as a Template
It can be helpful to start out with a set of standard vows and then personalize them. If you’re looking for a good starting place, 15 Traditional Wedding Vows to Inspire Your Own offers vows from different cultures and faiths around the world. They can be a helpful guide for anyone who is struggling to write their own wedding vows.
See More:
8 Things Grooms Need to Know Before They Write Their Own Wedding Vows
Happy Wedding Planning
Jon Turino
(503) 877-4609
Are you looking for a Wedding Officiant or Wedding Minister in Portland Oregon? I also perform wedding ceremonies in Vancouver!
Tell me more about your wedding ceremony plans, what you need, what you want, what you desire. It’s YOUR SPECIAL DAY and I can help you customize the perfect wedding ceremony – one you, your family, and friends will remember forever!
“Jon was amazing to work, he knows exactly what to do and just guides you though it all, we hired him in a very short notice situation and he was great!! Thank you, Jon, for an amazing ceremony!! The family and I loved it!” – Trina, WeddingWire Review
“We had a great experience hiring Jon! I initially chose him because he seemed unbiased that our wedding was an elopement. He was very helpful and caring in making sure the verbiage was just right. He responded quickly with all emails, came early, and was very professional. During the ceremony, he spoke loud and clear. He was very genuine in wishing us all the best. I would highly recommend Jon to officiate your special day!” – Lauren, Wedding Wire Review
Call me at (503) 877-4609 or drop me a line using THIS ONLINE FORM.