How Big Should Your Wedding Be?

I had the opportunity to answer a question on Quora today and I wanted to share the question and my answer to the question, and some advice for all of you spouses-to-be. The question posed was:

My future in-laws want a huge wedding and want to spend a lot to keep their 400+ guests happy. I want a simple wedding because I care more about the marriage than the wedding. Their idea of the wedding is financially straining on my family, because what we saved up is not enough.

My answer was:

Jon Turino, Wedding Officiant (2015-present)

 “Weddings can be incredibly expensive if not properly planned. I think 400+ guests — unless you live in India — is going way overboard. You and your fiance will be going forward in your lives together and your responsibilities to your future in-laws are minimal. If they want to pay for the wedding, you might acquiesce; otherwise going into a large amount of debt to satisfy them is a very bad way to start your new married life.

There are dozens — or more — checklists available for choosing wedding guests. Close family, close friends, close coworkers, people who might be upset if not invited, etc. Beyond that list there is no reason to spend $100-$200 — or more — per guest just so the in-laws can impress their friends.

You don’t mention how your fiance feels about this situation so I suggest that you two have a serious conversation about what you and he want and how you view the situation together.”

My advice is:

If you want to start out right then start with your guest list. Then get the event planner/coordinator who can help you find a venue that fits that list and your desires for a theme and location. Then you’ll want to get the caterer, the DJ/musician(s), the photographer, etc. And, if you are the bride, don’t forget the dress! And don’t forget to book your officiant early. He/she will probably be the least expensive, but most important, person you choose! Find out more at https://yourminister.org/the-ultimate-wedding-checklists-list/.

As always, your comments are welcome anytime.

Happy Wedding Planning
Jon Turino
(503) 877-4609

Are you looking for a Wedding Officiant or Wedding Minister in Portland Oregon? I also perform wedding ceremonies in Vancouver!

Tell me more about your wedding ceremony plans, what you need, what you want, what you desire. It’s YOUR SPECIAL DAY and I can help you customize the perfect wedding ceremony – one you, your family, and friends will remember forever!

“Jon was amazing to work, he knows exactly what to do and just guides you though it all, we hired him in a very short notice situation and he was great!! Thank you, Jon, for an amazing ceremony!! The family and I loved it!” – Trina, WeddingWire Review

“We had a great experience hiring Jon! I initially chose him because he seemed unbiased that our wedding was an elopement. He was very helpful and caring in making sure the verbiage was just right. He responded quickly with all emails, came early, and was very professional. During the ceremony, he spoke loud and clear. He was very genuine in wishing us all the best. I would highly recommend Jon to officiate your special day!” – Lauren, Wedding Wire Review

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